Regrets

Remember my post about friends becoming apart? Yeah, I suddenly had this feeling to look them up, and I thought they were doing just fine. I was wrong. They were not. Two of my lovely friends have a baby. They are fifteen, not even an adult themselves yet. I feel terrible. If I stayed, would I be able to stop it. One of my friends, I would not state his name, but he has a baby and has many tattoos. The tattoos look lovely, but at the age of fifteen, I think it is too early to be an urban gypsy. To tell you the truth when I moved from Sharpstown to the ugly suburbs of Missouri City, I thought my friends would do great things, but I am wrong. Two of my friends have a baby. Both look lovely, but that is not the point. Usually, people would wait until they are settled, but I guess they wanted a different path. I just wonder "what could I have done?".

Sometimes, I wish that I did not move. I feel as though I am wasting space, having no use in this place I was dumped into. If I stayed in Sharpstown, I would have a purpose. I guess when I saw the baby pictures of my friends, it was a wake up call. It put me back into reality; the ugly reality that shocks people out of the dream they were in. I miss him and her so much, but their spouses need them to take care of a baby. A baby. I cannot believe that. I do not want to believe that. They were such wonderful and smart kids. Growing up with them was gift. One of them, she was my roomate in camp for 4 days. I would have never believe that she would be a teenage mom. The other one, he was my biggest crush and one of my closest friends in the 5th grade. I would have never believe that he would be a father at the age of 15.

I am not here to insult anyone. I am not here to insult any teenage parents because I do not want to. As I said before, people bloom differently, just as flowers do. I cannot say how to grow up to be an adult, but things shock me. When we grow up with someone and leave for a couple of years and come back, we would have never know what they would be in around 5 years. I expected change, but not that big of a change. I feel bad that I am even feeling shocked because I do not want to be shocked. But, I guess at the age of 15 and we have friends at 10, and they become something that we never expected, we will be shocked.

I am sorry. This was very heavy stuff. I apologize. If anything offended you, let me send you an apology. Just send me your complaint throught my colleague's email lillianjuly24@aol.com. If you have an comments, comment below or if you are shy, send it to the email I put above. Again, thank you.

With love,

Violet Sar Bleu