Right now, I should be working on my biology assignment of reading five chapters of my textbook about evolution, only have read the first chapter and part of the second. The reason why I decided to write today and at this time is because I am sad. I do not want to be sad. I want to be happy. I figured that if I let out all of my sadness, I will be happy again. Of course, I am pathetic and still am sad.
Have you ever been so upset that the emotion causes you to be in physical pain to the point where you feel like you need to sit or lay down in order to not fall? Have you ever been so sad that your stomach and head aches? My chest aches, my head hurts, the part of my back parallel to my back feels sore, my stomach hurts, and my fingers and toes feel stiff. I want the pain to stop. I do not feel this way anymore even though I do not mean to. I wish I was not sensitive to emotions. I want to smile and mean it.
I just do not want filled with lamentation and angst. I tried getting out of my house. I tried blasting music into my ears. I tried keeping myself busy. Nothing works.
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