My Apologies

I apologize for not posting all week long, and my only excuse is that I was busy. I had a hard time juggling my school work with everything else in my life, and I just could not function with the blog posting. Even though I enjoy writing posts just about anything. Sometimes, I need a break and take a step back and remember that I still have some parts of my sanity even though it is slowly getting away.

I do not want to complain about my life and how I think it is tough because I know it is boring to read about and that people have it worse than I do, so I do not want to sound like a piece of trash complaining about worthless things.

However, I do want to speak about something that has been bothering me at the back of my mind, which is my future. Despite my ideas that I will be fine in the future if I do my best in the present, I cannot help but think about. I have no idea what is going to happen to me, and it scares me. I do not want to think that, but I do. I have no direction in my life and I have no idea I want to do with my life, other than to help people. The quarter-life crisis, my friend.

With love,

Violet Sar Bleu

The way I feel right now

I feel as though I am not my normal self, and it is to the point where I do not understand myself if that makes any sense. I guess I should just tell you my problems.

I feel very unfocused and disconnected with myself and my life. Such as, I will think of something and I do not know how it applies to my life, though it seems relevant. It is almost as if I have all the pieces to a puzzle, but I cannot seem to put it together. Also, I feel very anxious for some weird reason. I am not a nervous person, but I am anxious for no reason. My body has been anxious as well, like jittery and cautious of everything that might move, if that makes sense at all.

I do not believe that I am stressed out, but I have been also getting acne, which I barely get, but right now, for some weird reason, I have been breaking out. Ughh, I do not know what to do, and I do not know why my body is doing this to me.

Why do I feel anxious? Why do I cry for no weird reason at weird times during the day? Why do I feel disconnected and unfocused? Why do I feel incomplete even though I have everything in front of me? Please answer these questions because I need the answers.

Please help.

Violet Sar Bleu

I Love You to the Moon and Back

Lately, I have been out of it. I cannot focus, I failed three things this week, and I am not myself. I have no idea why, and it is to the point where I just do not understand why I do things the way I do. I am fruststrated, and I hope that things will get better because it just has to. It has been a long time since I felt this way, and I do not like it. If you never had this feeling, great, and hopefully, you never do.

I literally slept at around 4:00 pm in the afternoon last night and woke up around 9:00 am, that just proves to you why I feel the way I do and I need to stop, it is unhealthy.

I am confused with myself. How did I let myself fail 3 things in a row? How did I let myself avoid the fact that I failed three things in a row? Ughh, I am so confused and frustrated.

With love,

Violet Sar Bleu

I think I need a break

I failed a test and a quiz, and my waterline of my eyes got torn. Just wanted to say that. I am so frustrated with myself, and eventually, I think I might self destruct in the most nonharmful and unintentially way possible.

I need to breathe, take a step back, maybe rid of my possessions for a while because I am losing my sanity. Please help.

This mental breakdown rarely happens, so please help. Ugh, I am so upset with myself right now, not sucicidal, but upset.

With love,

Violet Sar Bleu

Fright

Ok, remember how people were talking about how North Korea will bomb the U.S. I have a feeling the whole world is going crazy. Did you hear about the explosions? I am scared to the point where it is worst than the time I looked up Fransico Goya's work.

List of crazy happenings as of right now.
1. Boston bombing
2. Pakistan earthquake
3. Waco explosion

If you could find any updates, please comment

With love,
Violet Sar Bleu

Ultimate Failure

My apologies to you for not writing that often, but the thing is that I cannot do well at things when I am overwhelmed. No, you are not my last priority, but you are not my first either. Trying to get things set for summer and Destin, schoolwork, and it was taking a toll on me.

Again, I have to keep it short, and I will see you all later.

Personality: Exaggerate, Mute, Change

I think sometimes the Internet allows many people's personality to be exaggerated, muted, or changed because people realize their true personality traits. However, if a person does that, he or she is very deceitful because that is lying.

You all know my personality traits and you probably do or do not like them because of your opinions are allowed. I cannot stop people from thinking they want to believe because if I do, I am being unfair. Even though I try to write posts in which they are interesting, they are more for me than anyone else because I write what I want to write, and if I try to please people, I will hate it. I do not hate writing posts, and I ask you all to give me ideas because to me it only seems fair if I grab ideas from you. Now, do not believe that I get all my ideas from you.

I do not want to address anyone as "Clouds," "Kiandreans," "Lawlorffs," "Mahomies," "Beliebers," etc. because I know that not everyone knows me well, not everyone enjoys my posts, therefore, I do not want to exclude anyone, which is what I want to avoid at all costs.

"Why are you addressing this?" You may or may not ask.

I address this because to me the most successful people do not exclude people, even on the Internet. Even though there may be "fandoms" (fan kingdoms), I really do prefer people to not have them,

I know two posts in one day; I just want to apologize for posting so late and give you two knowledgeable posts today.

With love,
Violet Sar Bleu