Growing Pains

I miss my friend. I do not know why. I know how we drifted apart and it is my fault, entirely. I pushed that person away because that person came too close too soon. I miss my friend to the moon and back.

I had a root canal today. To be honest, the only that harmed me was when the x-ray that was rooked after.

What Sucks

My friend who I trusted through and through has not talked to me. He will not talk to me and forgot my birthday as well. It sucks. I am sorry that we had a misunderstanding. I am sorry that I am not the girl that you "knew was the one" by looking at her. I am sorry that I was mad at you for months, with you not knowing the reason why.

I am heartbroken that I lost my real first friend that felt comfortable enough to contact me at two in the morning to see if I came home from the party and if I was safe. I miss him so much as my friend.

Movie recommendation: Silver Road, short film, can be accessed through YouTube

With love,

Violet Sar Bleu

I am Stupid

I have this friend, and yes, he is a guy, and yes, I care for him platonically. The relationship between he and me is complicated. It started out complicated, went through with complications, and still is complicated. However, we are on good terms, well in my point of view.

I just want him to talk to me. He is not talking to me, which makes me frustrated.

With love,

Violet Sar Bleu

Happy Birthday to Me and Amy and Andy Irons

Today is my sixteenth birthday, and I woke up to the munchkins, Amy and Stephanie, sitting on Amy's bed waiting for me to wake up. I woke up at 10:30, which typically is too early for me. Gummy Bears that were bought from last night are on my dresser, and I received a lovely tank top from Stephanie. So far my day has been uneventful, but calm and simple. I am not dragged to a party I do not want to go. I am not forced to wear something nice. My day has been normal, except for the fact that I turned sixteen.

Today is Andy Iron's birthday. I wish him to a nice day, even if he is not considered alive anymore, but he is alive to me. He is forever young. Love you <3.

Happy birthday, Amy. Love you to the moon and back and back again <3.


With love,

Violet Sar Bleu

Today

Today, technically yesterday, is the first day that I have experienced a great lost of trust and security. People keep texting me that they are sorry. I literally packed my things and was ready to head out, but my grandmother stopped. I rather not say anymore because I know I will regret it.

With love,

Violet Sar Bleu

I have a knack for embarrassing myself.

Yesterday, I went driving with my mother, and I got mad. I rather not say anything about it.

During the time we went, we decided to get some boba or bubble tea. Let's just say I did not noticed what I was wearing until I went out. I was wearing a baggy t-shirt and a pair of white sleep shorts with red polka dots. I am surprised they served me. Thank goodness, the guy was very nice, and gave me my green tea with grass jelly.

With love,

Violet Sar Bleu

Wisdom Teeth

Wisdom teeth extraction is probably the most painful thing to endure, afterwards. I want to tell you what they did to me during the procedure.

When I got my wisdom teeth taken out, my dentist did not use gas on me. Instead, he used the needle annethesia. I am not going to lie to you, but the first injection was such a harsh and sharp pain. But the other two after were not as bad because of the already numbness inside the back of my teeth. During the operation, I was awake and blindfolded and did feel a thing. Then after all of the clacking and banging stopped, my blindfold was removed as they placed stitches on my mouth. I felt some pain with gauzes in my mouth. I was fourteen, and the pressure was too much.

I took my pain killers, which were too strong, and knocked me out. I slept for most of the day. Blood was dribbling down my mouth, and I got blood all over my pillow.

I healed quickly, and please do not try to eat chips after the operation. I did, and it hurt. The pain went away after a day or two, but still felt sore in my jaw for a while.

With love,
Violet Sar Bleu

Red Nail Polish

Whenever people ask me what I feel most comfortable wearing, I usually do not have an immediate answer because I believe people should be confident in his or her skin, bare and raw. However, I guess I never realized, until now, the reason behind the confidence behind a certain article of clothing or a certain wear of makeup. The person feels confident in that certain article of clothing because either he or she knows that he or she looks good or because that article holds a certain nostalgic meaning. Ever since I was younger, I feel most confident when I am wearing red nail polish. I never noticed it before, until someone pointed it out. Red nail polish is the first nail polish I have ever seen my mother wore and my aunt wore. It is the first color that I have ever painted on my nails at the meager age of 6. Sounds stupid, as usual.

I dislike the idea that depression is a side effect of cancer. In my opinion, depression is not a side effect of cancer. It is the side effect of dying. Even though some animals can detect mortality and/or feel sad when their offsprings die, I think humans have this weird quality. The thought of animals committing suicide lingers in my mind, and I apologize for the sad idea. It makes me wonder if they do commit suicide, not just willingly hurt themselves, or if they do feel depressed or of they do have a psychological condition of depression when they are ill or dying.

I also dislike the saying "it gets better." People say this phrase for bullying and unhappiness. Even though everything must come to an end, another must start. There will always be bullying in the world, but as a person, you get stronger for it. It never ends. It happens in adulthood, childhood, and in the elderly. It doesn't get. You get better.

With love,

Violet Sar Bleu

Anti-Acne Treatments

As a teenage girl, I have problems with acne, and it tends to get on my nerves. So, when I just have nothing to do, I try out "home remedies", so I want to tell you what home remedies and homemade masks that actually work.

1. Cinnamon and honey mask
To make the masks, put three tablespoons of the type of honey of your choice (I like wallflower) in a microwave bowl/cup of your choice. Next, put in one tablespoon of cinnamon in, and mix. It should be thick and weird looking. After that, put the mixture in the microwave for ten seconds. The texture after heating should be less thick. Apply onto the face, and wait 5-10 minutes and rinse off.
I do not recommend this mask to sensitive skin because the cinnamon might be too abrasive. You can use it everyday, but no more than once a day. I use it a couple times a week.

2. Cinnamon, honey, olive oil, and sea salt mask
To make the mask, place one tablespoon of olive oil, two tablespoons of honey, and two teaspoons of cinnamon inside a microwable bowl/cup. The texture should be close to syrup. Next put it for five seconds in the microwave. Next, put in the sea salt in and stir. The texture should be in between water and syrup and gritty. Apply onto face for five minutes and rinse off. When you rinse it off, the seasalt will exfoliate your skin.
If you have sensitive skin, I recommend using fine salt or not adding salt at all. Depending how big the sea salt chunks you put in, the harsher the exfoliation. I recommend using it once a week.

3. Toothpaste
Dab onto any zit on your pimple, leave overnight. It dries out the zit and reduces the appearence.

4. Egg mask
Separate the whites from the the yolk. Whip up the whites and dab the foam onto your face. When you feel like you cannot move your face, rinse off. It gets rid of excess oil and brighten ups the skin. For the yolks, puncture the yolk, and apply onto face. When you cannot move your face, rinse off. It provides moisture to the face.

5. Eye drops
Apply eye drops to any red blemish or redness to any spot. It reduces the redness.

6. Coffee, berry, and avocado mask.
Mash up a half of an avocado, mash up a cup of your choice of berries (I like raspberries and blueberries), and mix it with two tablespoon of coffee (cold is better) and a tablespoon of coffee grinds. Apply to face and rinse off after 5-10 minutes. It is perfect for dry, irritated, and inflamed skin. Great for winter.

These are all of my home remedies that I know work well. Take care :).

With love,

Violet Sar Bleu

I'm so glad to see you

Even though missing people seems torturous, seeing that certain person or those certain people makes you feel oh-so warm and fuzzy. I was so glad to hear from a person, since I have not seen them or hear from them in a long time.

With love,

Violet Sar Bleu

Affect vs Effect; Who vs Whom

This most complicated things in life tend to be the easiest to understand, but the least complicated things in life tend to be the most difficult to understand. I do not know why, and I do not know how, but it is true.

With love,

Violet Sar Bleu

Liars

As the saying goes "it takes one to know one." I cannot agree more because its true. From liars to cheaters to hypocrites, it really does take a knowledge of a person, no matter how miniscule or expansive, to know who is who.

Many people believe that this is not true, which I understand because I can be wrong.

With love,

Violet Sar Bleu

Experience

Yesterday, I decided to go a water park. Although I am not a big fan of rides, crowded areas, or chlorinated water, I went because of funnel cakes, sun, and the ability to wear my bikini somewhere else other than the beach. Now, I am here, typing with my legs aching and a nice tan on my legs. I did not expecting anything, but a guy, outside of the bathroom as I was waiting for my sister, looking at me, straight at me. Now, by this time, I was not in my swimwear, but changed out into a comfortable loose muscle tee and sweat shorts. However, at first, I thought there was a girl behind me, but there was not. As I walked away, he still stared at me. Either this guy is a creeper or something else. The way he looked at me was not in a creeper or confused way. He just stared into my eyes. I do not understand why though.

I am confused.

With love,

Violet Sar Bleu

P.S. I (sorta) Love You

I guess you can say that I am confrontal when it comes to people insulting me. Usually, I like to avoid trouble at the best of my ability, but when it comes to what I believe and what I feel, I get a bit arrogant. I never mean to do it and just so happens. Call me a jerk.

With love,

Violet Sar Bleu